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Today's post was written by Rusty Wright with Meg Korpi.
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I laughed so hard, I ached.

A while back, a friend e-mailed me a list of “Worst analogies written by high school students.” I began using them when presenting at writers and editors conferences. They were genuine side splitters, an English teacher’s nightmare.

Here are some:

Laugh Lines

“Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.”

“From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and ‘Jeopardy!’ comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.”

“The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.”

“He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.”

“Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.”

“Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.”

“John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.”

“The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.”

“His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.”

Source Check

Recently, I decided to track down these shaky analogies’ original source. Turns out they weren’t culled from high school classrooms, but rather were published entries from The Style Invitational, a Washington Post humor writing contest. Apparently, Internet rumors morphed them into high school bloopers.

Oops.

And ouch.

You see, not only am I a stickler for accuracy, but people who spread Internet rumors without checking the facts really irk me. Countless times, I’ve encouraged correspondents to fact check on Snopes.com or TruthOrFiction.com, valuable, if imperfect, resources. I should have checked these analogies before repeating them.

“Physician, heal yourself!” you might say. Guilty as charged. “Any story sounds true,” notes a Jewish proverb, “until someone sets the record straight.” Lesson learned.

The Internet can be a 21st-Century backyard fence or office water cooler. One click can spread interesting, funny, engaging, or juicy gems. Problem is, too often the dispatches contain cyberfactoids—my wife Meg’s coinage for unsubstantiated or inaccurate information, propagated as fact via the Internet. And many will believe these tidbits. After all, they came from a trusted friend.

Does Truth Matter?

So where’s the harm in conveying a little imperfect information? These analogies are just for fun—and they do seem funnier coming from unwitting high-schoolers, rather than contestants intentionally writing “good” bad analogies. Shouldn’t we just lighten up?

If you’re the “trusted friend,” it may depend on whether you want to be, in fact, trustworthy.

If you’re the receiver, you might find wisdom in the old saw: “One who can’t be trusted in small things, shouldn’t be trusted in large ones.” (Luke 16:10)

In fact, carelessness with the truth can blow up on you. Just ask those who ignored problems at BP’s Macondo oil well in the Gulf of Mexico.

A few years after publishing the above analogies, the Post ran another collection of bad analogies, including two by Joseph Romm, who had several entries published in the first batch. One of his entries on the second list:

“Joe was frustrated, like a man who thought his claim to fame was occasional appearances in a weekly humor contest, but in fact is known to millions as a stupid high school student who writes unintentionally humorous bad analogies.”

Sorry, Joe. I really am. Hope this helps set the record straight.
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Rusty Wright is an author and lecturer who has spoken on six continents. He holds Bachelor of Science (psychology) and Master of Theology degrees from Duke and Oxford universities, respectively. www.RustyWright.com

Meg Korpi is a senior research scientist who studies character development and ethical decision-making through the Character Research Institute in Northern California. She holds a PhD in Educational Psychology from, and formerly taught at, Stanford University.

In my last two posts I’ve talked about the fact that there is trouble in this world, and it is a good thing to wait on the Lord. That is because God is reliable and trustworthy. In the King James Version, Isaiah 40:8 says that the word of our God shall stand forever. He assures us that He will keep His promises, no matter what circumstances we may face and whether or not we always understand how or know when.

The Word of God will last and be reliable forever, even though all else is unreliable and passes away. The metaphor that is used here is that the grass dries up and the flowers wither. In Isaiah 40:6-7 we can see that the grass and flowers are referring to humanity and people’s promises. It is sometimes tempting, when we hear someone give a message that we agree with, or that we long for, to start following, even worshipping, that person. It happens often with celebrities, and it happens with evangelists. It happened with Harold Camping. (May 23, 2011) When Camping said that the world was going to end, people gave up everything they had—some even took their own lives—because they believed the man, rather than trusting the Word of God. Joyce Meyer puts it simply, “Follow God, not people.”

Isaiah 40:10-11 indicate that the Word of God will bring deliverance, and that He cares for us. That love and salvation was made human in the person of Jesus. (John 1:1-5) Jesus’ sacrifice at the cross made it possible for us to have eternal salvation and to have an eternal connection with God who cares so deeply for us that He gave up His own Son to redeem us. Jesus is the fulfillment of the Word. (Matthew 5:17) Because of Him we can be adopted into God’s family, and we can trust His promises both now and forevermore.

My heart is still heavy for the family of Al and Rita Chretien who have been missing for just over two weeks. From every indication I have, which comes from their Facebook page (Missing – Al and Rita Chretien), the family has a strong faith in God. Other people have gone through equally devastating situations—earthquakes, floods, fire, criminal acts; does faith really help when we are put in such trying situations? I believe it does. Sometimes, in tragic circumstances people will say that this proves that there is no God, but people of true faith trust God, not because of their own comfort and blessed circumstances, but because of who God is.

God has promised to be faithful. Hebrews 10:23 tells us that we can hold on tight to the hope that we have, because God is trustworthy and will keep His promises to us. In the previous verses (Hebrews 10:19-22), we see that we are invited to draw near to God, and that we can have confidence to do so. We are confident because we know that Christ gave His life so that we could have this privilege. In Old Testament times, the people needed to have a priest to approach God on their behalf. They would sacrifice the animals that were required for atonement, and they alone could go beyond the curtain into the inner sanctuary to meet with God. Now because Christ has shed His own blood for us, He has drawn back that curtain and has become our priest so that we are welcomed into God’s presence. We can draw near, because we have the assurance that faith brings. (Hebrews 10:22)

And this faith is not based on what we know, or on what we can see or figure out. Faith is being convinced that God is control, that everything is under His command, and we can believe Him even when we don’t have all the answers. (Hebrews 11:1-3, 1 Corinthians 2:5)

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Al and Rita Chretien are parents, grandparents, business owners and much loved members of their community. They were last seen on March 19, 2011 in Baker City, Oregon on their way to Las Vegas. They were driving a brown 2000 Chevrolet Astro mini van with British Columbia plate number 212 CAV. If you have any information about this couple, please contact your local police department and cite Penticton RCMP case file 2011-3395, or call the toll free tip line in Canada or the U.S.: 1-877-987-8477. And please keep this family in your prayers.